Expectations

everywhere i turn
seems like all i see

everyone i meet
seems like all i hear

every time i breathe
seems like all i inhale

are EXPECTATIONS

folly it was mine to imagine
all of 'em were for me by design

hobby it has become mine to deject
all of 'em who from me did expect

why
why now
why them
why this
why ME

if i need to be
humbled
belittled
ruffled

spare the ones around me

is it ‘cz that’s what hits me hard

i am
humbled
belittled
ruffled

now spare the ones around me

i have been hit very hard

the burden of unfulfilled expectations
it weighs me down
it strains my brow
it pains my vow

expect not and fulfil nothing
will it only be a hazy dream

in expectation of no more expectations
i rest to dream that hazy dream.

Resolute Resolves

Handful broken resolutions in couple of months and i once again reiterate the importance of making resolutions. Every year, in fact every month i indulge in the art of making resolutions. The list of do's and don'ts for the month substantiated by that horrendous wishlist of mine. Thanks to my incorrigible self though, the list survives and makes it to another month's shelf.
I look towards every month as a chance to start afresh. The 1st of any month is a blessing to useless mortals like me to make my life seem not-so-worthless. A peek into my wishlist and you could find cliched wishes like waking up at early bird timings, working towards physical conditioning and the like, but the starred points i am proud of are points which make me look less normal, leaning towards being 'enviable'. Not wanting to hear (from those who might risk reading this)that my wishes come a cropper when pitching to be branded 'enviable', i shall not divulge the details of my list. Allow this poor soul to live in its own sweet realm, convinced that its wishlist is unique and one that everyone should yearn for.
However, i shall continue on my discourse of the perks of making a resolution very well aware of the fact that its resolve would wither away before it ripens to bear fruit. This reminds me of the movie, 'Bucketlist', a must-watch for people who have never jotted down resolutions or conjured up wishlists! Resolutions give a deeper insight to your meandering life, it helps you navigate your ship called life!
Pick a resolution and make your start-of-months more exciting and worth looking forward to. We all do eagerly wait for the month to end to lap up those monochrome payslips, what about the start-of-months??
Resolutions help build up belief in all things called HOPE! When i realise that my new resolution did not last even 21 days [which i am told is the minimum time required to enforce a habit into your routine], i HOPE when i resolve to re-try next month things would change.
Resolutions are food for bragging! Bragging is about being all talk and no deed and when i make a resolution, like say, i decide to grow brains in a week, i make sure i tell the whole world that i'm growing brains this week and garner all the stares possible. Limelight is something that bragging always carries along and resolutions feed it.
Access, respect and repute in any Anonymous Recovery Group (Overeaters Anonymous i'm told is the in-thing) where making resolutions figure high in their 12-Step Self Help courses is another gain of resolving to resolutions!
As i ponder for more perks which definitely do exist, i resolve to pen down more in the coming month. Keep watching this space for more benefits of resolutions and in case you don't find anything soon, you'd know why!

Happy Resolutions!!

Firemen Tales

It was a long week at the NY Fire Department. Fireman Jack and his chums had been working straight for the last nine days. The summer of NY topped with some highly erractic coincidences of fire accidents had taken its toll on the seven firemen. Jack and his chums had made it a point that they went out almost every evening that long week to make sure that they were in high spirits and don't lose the tempo as the 9-day week waned away. Today was different, today they were unwinding - celebrating the end of another week of fire-fighting!
Cribbing was not something these young lads, who had joined the force mainly due to compulsion, had encouraged, but a stinging remark, a joke on the Chief or the Captain was always a must-have during their weekend celebrations! This was, as they justified, the little joys in their otherwise morose existence, the ray of light they yearned for amidst the darkness cast by the smoke at work.
Today was the day for such trivial joys, so lo they finally cleaned up their act and put on those neatly pressed clothes which they seldom got to strut around thanks to the ever-so-generous force's uniforms which had become second skin to these fellas. Aboard couple of wagons and off they set to 'The Grill' - 'Barbecue and Beer till you give up!' read the billboard outside this joint. Why not said one of the chums!!It did look like a league outside the penny's worth that these freshmen firemen earned, but they were looking forward to indulge tonight and no worry or thought could break their resolve.
Glancing to the sides, feeling out of place they swiftly swooped down on the empty table. They were in for a shock. Not something they had expected on a day like today, but fighting fire all day long they were prepared to take on such suprises head on!
Perched on the table next to them was the proposed butt of the evening's jokes. The Chief and the Captain were out at what happened to be their usual watering hole. "Alas! There sits our joke being served on a platter alongside,while we starve for the little scoops of mirth we so yearn for" sighed bespectacled Beejay. Well guess that's not what the doc ordered for these boys who had painted their faces black in the fires across NY city all week long.
Not the kinds who try and hide from their superiors on a social outing and since the old fellas sitting across the table weren't really what one would call blood-sworn enemies, they walked up to the Chief and the Captain. A passing thought speeding through the minds of both groups. When people who have spent close to 20 yrs on the force rising from the ranks to such prestigious posts share their watering hole with a bunch of freshmen firemen just out of college, something must be terribly wrong! Jack and the boys realized that they were tearing holes in their pockets and definitely the Chief must have felt that these boys earn way more than what they need.
Nevatheless who would have thought the oldies would have welcomed the freshmen to join them for beer! Breaking all myths, the group of seven freshmen firemen and their grandfatherly Chiefs shattered the decibel levels of the place and managed to win the wager with 'The Grill' as they cleaned up all the barbecues and beer they had to offer!
Some night it was for the boys and to this day they recount the night they boozed with the Chief and the Captain bridging all divides of hierarchy!

Dissecting Impressions

No not with the limited reach of the cognitive capabilities of the human mind, I would recommend a good serving of the famed Holmes-Watson duos’ deductive might, oodles of Supermanly determination and a pinch of joblessness to taste as the main ingredients needed to make a meal out of understanding the enigma called a ‘female mind’. Some people live their lives in the quest for answers to their numerous questions, while few others engage their lives trying to find the questions to the answers nature has already presented them with. The slugabed that I am would obviously park me in the latter zone and which is why I have taken this bold step into uncharted territory.
Biology is a subject I personally enjoyed a lot in high school thanks to the lavish scope for conning tongue twisters it presented me. But then that was school and 11th grade was a totally different ball game altogether. The advent of the science of Dissection made sure that only the passionate and patient ones remained. The rapid thinning of the boys interested in the subject was hence no surprise.
Mastery of this science calls for absolute precision, meticulous observational powers, attention to minute details, patience to fend off the fiends of distraction for long hours and of course a good pair of motor limbs. Save an occasional shriek you come across when a dead frog jumps into life, our friends from the other gender have what it takes to go the dissective distance.
Not surprisingly our womenfolk have gone on to manifest their dissective skill set in areas outside the jurisdiction of Biology stretching far into the mundane trivialities of life!
To help you see the picture I’m trying to paint, allow me to darken the hues a little more.
Remorse and ignorance are invariably two major feelings a guy would encounter when he commits the sin of raising subjects like ‘first impression’ as a part of casual talk. This talk ain’t any clumsy just-for-the-sake-of-it conversation subject, not when ‘tis posed to a woman. As the list of the details of that darned first meeting are unraveled the poor guy realizes how futile his 20-odd year’s sentence with him was when compared to the 30-odd minutes this lady needed to fold him inside out. It then appears as though all the cosmic forces of nature have taken time off to join the lady in dissecting the guy and his ‘first impression’; they cleave, rip and make such surgical incisions of his character that are simply unimaginable.
Now all of a sudden those long uneasy silences, those distant glances at the restaurant ceiling and those furtive glances to check if she’s looking don’t seem all that unimportant! Torn to mono-syllable acknowledgement of his ‘first impression’, his sin dawns on him and remorse engulfs him!
An impression might mean the taste that lingers in your palate for us lesser mortals, but for the species called females, it’s more than that, it goes to even the flavors used. Its dissection on special order! Guess some of my answers and many of your questions have been put to rest thru’ this discourse!

The Four lettered sailor

[The contents of this blog could be classified as Parental Advisory, so request exercise of discretion in taking the plunge]

The guy on the street foul mouths the driver of the speeding roadster; the desperate loser attributes his distorted luck; the seductive girlfriend eggs on her reluctant boyfriend to go the distance; the reviewed silences his reviewers; the excited winner of the darned reality show expresses her astonishment on actually being crowned the bitchiest of em’ all; the average English-speaking ruffian across the road prefers to use it as a substitute to the well acclaimed punctuation of the Queen’s language. Different tones, different circumstances, different connotations, that is what the four-letter F-word, ‘FUCK’ has come to be.
It’s funny how acronyms are shaped, how they are twisted and turned to look normal! Else how could a protocol from the era of monarchy have given birth to this genius of a slang word? Something that deserves even more pondering would be that not many of the consumers of this brand of language know the roots of this commonplace figure of speech if I may say so. In the Isles of the Great Kingdom, where men had to seek consent of the Kings for their marriage, in an era where concubines and mistresses were not classified as abnormal no matter how shameful they might have been, ‘Fornication upon Consent of King’ was a custom that was not what you could categorise as illegitimate. One single meaning it had and a not so abnormal one during the times it was coined, no matter how morally low an act it was.
What has become of this protocol is definitely worth a laugh! As people say one bad remark stays put in spite of the numerous good you might have done to cover it up, it always shows its shameful head in a crowd, it’s the same with language. No matter how many beautiful words it might have gifted to mankind, it’s the bad ones that stick. I doubt if the acronym FUCK stood for ‘FOOD upon Consent of King’ or ‘FAITH upon Consent of King’ it would have given us this modern day adjective dear to many. FUCK has stood the test of time, though beaten, weathered and torn by the turbulent and changing winds of usage and lifestyles. Definitely some seeds of our ever-so-colorful vocabulary of the times would stand this same test and bloom in colors not conceivable at this stage.

Backpacking Diaries:London

An ardent fan of the greatest writer to be born out of London, this wreck of a writer does but deserve to imitate the legend in this account of the great man’s birthplace!
So here goes…
Act I Scene 1: The Queen’s capital
The task of blending thine self into a country new to thine feet is but one of the simplest of tasks if thou haileth from the mystic lands of India. And the capital of the Colony is no different.
Thou art reminded of thy first lessons in English which thine Grammar teacher bellowed into thine ears.
Thou art reminded of thy road rules, thy sporting cultures, thy administerial setups, and thy past.
I wouldst like to term it the lasting ‘British side-effect’.

The Victorianesque buildings, the ever-so-silent Thames, the good ‘ol Abbey, the numerous variants of London bridges ,Mr. Big Ben, the Tower of London, the Cathedral’s all stacked up against the modern wonders like the London eye, Madame Tussaud’s, the Underground give a taste of the British prominence of the past and dominance of the present.
Rich in history, tradition and stories of the past, every nook and corner of the most expensive city of the world has a story of its own. London is where history originated for most of the third world countries. It is home to the legends of war, culture, sport and of course royalty.
The city is studded with monuments like the Nelson’s column, the National Gallery where I got my first taste of Michelangelo and Da Vinci; statues of World leaders, memorials for the Women of War (WWII) [see pic]

Londoners take pride in a lot of their assets and rightly so. To name a few it would be their ‘Underground’ – MIND THE GAP as its punch line yells out, their cabs, their football clubs, their tea (Devonshire and Cornwell, two adversary counties who stake their claim at being the original ones), their health – you can’t help but notice what you could call their fitness fetish. Everybody runs, running is not a hobby, its more of a habit they relish in. The whole of London looked like a set of a Nike ad with everyone from people in business suits to the average man on the street ipoded and running. Truly sport is a true form of uniting a country.

There’s a lot for us Indians to learn from the British when it comes to being proud of your country. One chapter they left out on purpose during the colonial teaching days.

Is this how it ought to be?

I couldn't help but write this on the solemn occassion of our 61st birth anniversary as a nation.
Only yesterday was I made to realise how much we have to walk,jump,leap or maybe fly to earn the coveted tag of a 'developed nation'. Knee deep in rain water which had flooded onto the roads..rather areas demarcated as roads, stuck for hours in traffic due to lack of infrastructure in a city with a sobriquet the 'Millenium City'. Is this what a millenium city in the world's 4th strongest GDP country ought to be?
This on the eve of the 61st year of our liberation from the Brits does not augur too well.
I am reminded of an article I read about the symbolism of our National Flag, a stark contrast of what we have turned it to be. We couldn't have disregarded its meaning in a better way than we have actually done.
Lets not just blame politicians when it comes to playing this game we are all so good at. How dedicated are WE to our work? Do WE place work above material gains for our self? As an individual have WE done anything worth mentioning as national duty? Have WE stopped complaining and started taking initiatives? As a citizen of this country do WE have our personal vision for the country?
Our national flag was meant to represent a way of life, rather than an image of unity or a twice-a-year symbol for showcasing your national fervor.
Saffron: It 'was' sadly not 'is' meant to symbolise disinterestedness/renunciation from material gains. The color stood for reminding our leaders to deny material gains and instead dedicate oneself to their work. Nice joke!
White: Light, the path of truth to guide our conduct. Do we need guidelines for our conduct? Aren't we responsible enough to collect bribes, take shortcuts to fame, lie to beat competition and term it 'smart' work? Another to the list of 'should be's'..
Green: Meant to remind us of our relation to the soil, nature and life which depends on us. Ask the cows mercilessly beaten at traffic junctions, the dogs which go under the wheel of many a speeding car, the plants we pluck, the trees we uproot, the streets we litter, they will give you a true account of how we have fulfilled our commitments.
Ashoka Chakra: The wheel of law,dharma which ought to be be our principle of life and work. The wheel also denotes motion. Resistance to change is what we like to cling on to, be it nuclear policies, age-old archaic rules and laws, logicless practices.
We are all part of the cause. We are not just the victims. Just as I would have cursed the regime yesterday for the state of affairs in the country, somebody somewhere would curse me for my inefficacies.
However, all is not lost, people have woken up, better late than never, we have realised the need to change. Our NGO's, Newspapers and Corporates have started acting.
I am no preacher, don't deserve to be either. I realised it today and I share my realisation. My only plea to me and you is to once again rise to the occasion and live the dream which Tagore beautifully penned as the land..'Where the mind is without fear..'